Sunday, August 29, 2010

The 2010 Tigers...In Bad Poetry Form


It started with hope
The Tigers’ season Twenty-Ten
But here we are now
All disappointed again

An offseason trade
Saw us lose Grandy and EJax
And new heroes arrived
Austin Jackson and Mad Max

Early injuries hit
Losing Zach Miner and Bob Seay
But free agency brings
Valverde and Johnny D

Questions are asked:
Will it be Dontrelle or Nate?
Is Bondo now healthy?
And will Gerald Laird hit his weight?

Which Maggs will show up?
Was giving Sizemore the job wise?
Is Kid Rick for real?
And what happened to the black guys?

Spring started out fine
Traded Nate Robertson away
Then JV pitched well
And we won on Opening Day

Starting pitching was weak
As April moved on towards May
But our mohawk clad pen
Always seemed to save the day

Damon hits a walk off
AJax makes fans say, “Curtis who?”
And then Carlos goes down
With his first major boo boo

Then Motown would weep
As Ernie Harwell passed away
The greatest of all time
Nothing else needed to say

We get swept by the Twins
But we’re still in the race
This Boesch kid’s damn good
And Justin’s pitching like an ace

Carlos at second base
Max and Sizemore have back luck
And who’s this Don Kelly?
Holy crap, does he suck

Scherzer comes storming back
Strikes out 14 Oakland A’s
And Valverde’s dancing
Has Comerica fans in a daze

With too many screw-ups
Dontrelle’s traded out of town
And Miguel Cabrera
Is headed toward Triple Crown

Armando then gets
His fifteen minutes of fame
As ump Jim Joyce robs him
Of baseball’s 19th perfect game

Adam Everett’s released
Tigers kick ass in interleague
But Jim Leyland’s strange lineups
Are giving many fans fatigue

The All Stars are named
Miguel, Valverde, and JV
And down to the Mud Hens
An ineffective Fu-Te Ni

The pen takes a hit
And Lynn Henning sheds a tear
Joel Zumaya’s arm explodes
And sends him out for the year

We flirt with first place
As the trade deadline does pend
But then we are hit
With the beginning of the end

First Maggs breaks his leg
Los injured again makes us cringe
Then we all facepalmed
As the DL would claim Inge

In just two weeks time
The season was stole from us
From head of the pack
Sent to the back of the bus

A barren Triple A
Sees the debut of Will Rhymes
Then Matt Garza’s no-hitter
Marked this the worst of the times

Jhonny Peralta
For some reason comes in a trade
Too little, too late
As the Tigers continue to fade

Brandon then gets healthy
But now Boesch can’t buy a hit
Cabrera’s still bashing
But everyone else plays like sh-t

Some waiver wire drama
Damon says no to the Sawx
Is he really that loyal?
Or just real sly like a fox?

Then late season hope
Beat up on Cleveland and KC
But road woes continue
And end winning hopes for the D

Third place now we sit
But fans, remember, don’t fear
Just a couple more months
And we can focus on next year

Yeah, I’m running low on ideas. Bite me. Hey, it’s better than my original one:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Don Kelly sucks
And Brad Thomas does, too

Ha.

2 comments:

PaulBakosNumberOneFan said...

That WAS bad. It started out good, better then expected really. Then the first signs of trouble started. About half way through things really got bad. Near the end you got it together and things improved, but it was really too little to late.

Rogo said...

Haha...nice.