Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I Got DIBS...Voting Results and Reaction


DIBS (Detroit Independent Baseball Scribes), which I am somehow a member of, had their voting for several awards for your 2010 Detroit Tigers this past week. I submitted mine, but I’m not sure Kurt from Bless You Boys got them, since I admittedly filled out my form drunk and I’m not sure it went through. I have issues…but you already knew that, didn’t you?

Kurt changed things up a bit to attempt to get away from the predictable “Best Hitter”, “Best Pitcher”, etc, nonsense you see everywhere else. Props to Samara at RotT for coming up with several of the awards. Anyway, here’s the complete list, who I voted for, and my reaction. After that, I’ll have a few of my own special awards.

Best On-Field Celebration: Jose Valverde

Well, duh. I, too, voted for the Big Potato’s dancing exploits. I mean, who else is there? Brandon Inge’s sadface when celebrating a strikeout? Ryan Raburn’s excessive tongue wagging after doing whatever it is he does? Perhaps Miguel Cabrera’s drinking benders when the ChiSox are in town? Naa…Valverde was the right choice.

Best Hair, Facial or Otherwise: Phil Coke

I voted for Cokehead. Had to…the guy’s so entertaining. He would have lost if Adam Everett was still on the team, though. That guy’s hair was flawless, second in sports to only Tom Brady. I actually gave Everett my 2nd place vote, though I don’t think it was counted. Honorable mention goes to Johnny Damon, who finished second in the overall voting. Johnny tried, but his 30+ year old frat boy look couldn’t top the “redneck homicidal maniac” appearance of Mr. Coke.

More after the jump.




Best Pitching Face: Justin Verlander

Verlander’s a scary bastard. That’s why I love him. No one since Dave Stewart with the late 80’s/early 90’s Oakland A’s has been so intimidating on the mound. So yeah, I voted JV for first and second for Valverde and his rotating facial expressions of determination and constipation. Fun stuff.

Jeremy Bonderman actually got three first place votes. Really? He looks like he has Down’s Syndrome most of the time. No offense to the Little Buddys out there, but really? Best pitching face? Sigh.

Best Use of Social Media: Will Rhymes

I voted for Will who is the only Tiger I know of that uses twitter and facebook. I think this category was put in there so Kurt could guarantee an award for his BFF, Tinkerbell. Ha.

Apparently Robbie Weinhardt and Casper Wells use social media stuff, too, but no one cares about them. That’s what they get for being so tall.

Biggest Surprise: Brennan Boesch

As I recall, I voted for Austin Jackson for surpassing all expectations that were placed on him by the Detroit media after everyone’s lord and savior, Curtis Granderson, was sent off to the Death Star in New York City. AJax was amazing for us and I’ve rarely been happier for a player. Boesch got my second-place vote, as he truly did seem to come out of nowhere this year. If he didn’t suck out loud so much in the second half, he would have been an easy winning choice for me.

I was interested to see if Rick Porcello would have gotten any off-the wall votes for being such a surprise in a negative way this year. Sadly, no one was willing to think outside the box. Jerks. Will Rhymes got two first place votes. As in “I’m surprised this little fella is somehow on the team?” Harf.

Best Value: Austin Jackson

AJax got my second place vote, as I went with Max Scherzer. Mad Max was amazing after his stint in Toledo, outpitching even Verlander for quite a while. Both guys are a good choice.

Most Valuable Tiger: Miguel Cabrera

This was a unanimous choice. JV was second. There’s no way it could have finished any other way.

And here’s a couple awards exclusive to DesigNate Robertson.

Worst Value: Nate Robertson

We paid him $9.6 million to suck for several organizations this year. F-ck you, Nate.

Worst Tattoos: Jeremy Bonderman

He edges out Brandon Inge for actually copying the ridiculous, ugly tributes to Brandon’s children…and he somehow got it even worse. I hope I never have to see Bondo again.

Best Tattoos: Ryan Perry

Perry’s sleeve tats are actually pretty awesome. Best tattoos in the D since Dmitri Young’s flame designs.

“Brandon Inge Memorial” Most Overrated Tiger: Will Rhymes

Sorry…Wee Man edges out Inge in the man’s own award. What an upset.

Best Tiger Blog:  Bless You Boys
Kurt and the gang over there do a top-notch job.  It's really the only place you need to go for news on the Tigers.  Great group of folks over there.

Worst Tiger Blog:  DesigNate Robertson
Really, this blog is crap.  Why are you reading?  Poop jokes and ripping apart other people's work?  You're better than this, people.  Plus I quit every couple months.  BYB's list of Tiger blogs even says that DNR is currently on hiatus.  I suck.   Not as bad as Don Kelly...but yeah.

Best Thing About 2010: (tie) Austin Jackson and Max Scherzer/Miguel Cabrera

Let me explain. AJax/Mad Max did the impossible and convinced 90% of the torch and pitchfork carrying Tiger fanbase that trading Edwin Jackson and Curtis Granderson wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Both did amazing jobs in 2010 and have me and others excited to see what they have to offer in 2011.

I also have to mention Miguel Cabrera’s redemption as the end of 2009 saw him, perhaps unfairly, labeled as a drunk and bad team player. That may accurately describe Your Party Host here, but not Miguel Cabrera.  The guy responded by putting up MVP numbers and showed the baseball world why he has to be mentioned in the conversation of the best hitter in baseball today.

Worst Thing About 2010: Ernie Harwell and Sparky Anderson pass away

Nothing more to really add here. Two legends who will live on in the hearts of Tiger and baseball fans forever left us this year. I still can’t believe they’re gone.

(Dis)Honorable Menion: The continued injury troubles of Carlos Guillen and Joel Zumaya. Two guys that were such a big part of the 2006 ballclub just can’t stay healthy anymore. They’ll each try to make yet another comeback in 2011. But will it be with us? Ask Gary Sheffield how Dave Dombrowski feels about dumping a player he thinks is through despite a huge salary.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving. Seeya around.

5 comments:

Kurt said...

haha thanks. but we read because you're entertaining as hell, like it or not!

Anonymous said...

Your disparaging comment regarding Down syndrome is not appreciated. I have a 2 yr old daughter with DS. She has many challenges from open heart surgery, three hospitalizations, etc. She takes each of these challenges in stride and shows her wonderful demeanor through it all. But she should not have to climb uphill against the negative and disparaging remarks as well. Please consider your language.

Rogo said...

Anon-

I normally don't apologize or defend my silly comments on here since they are just that...silly comments on a dumb humor blog. But here you go.

I don't feel that I made disparaging comments towards those with DS, unless you feel that I'm insulting them by comparing them to Jeremy Bonderman's terrible pitching. No offense was intended and I believe I even said so in the piece. It was just an observation. I apologize that this offended you, though.

I have two close friends that have children with DS and I have donated to Buddy Walks in the past. They are both wonderful children, much like I'm sure yours is. My best to you and your daughter.

Anonymous said...

Your disparaging comment regarding Down syndrome is not appreciated. I have a 2 yr old daughter with DS. She has many challenges from open heart surgery, three hospitalizations, etc. She takes each of these challenges in stride and shows her wonderful demeanor through it all. But she should not have to climb uphill against the negative and disparaging remarks as well. Please consider your language.

Kurt said...

haha thanks. but we read because you're entertaining as hell, like it or not!