Saturday, February 19, 2011

Cabrera-gate: Drew Sharp, The Last Scavenger

I know I said I was done with Cabrera-gate, but I forgot about one guy that was bound to get into the action. His name is Drew Sharp and he is a gigantic tool.

Will Drew have the balls to take a realistic view of this situation? Or will he fall in line with the rest of the sheep and speak without knowing what he’s talking about?

Follow the jump to find out.


Does Detroit become another enabler?

Sigh. Was there any doubt? Let’s get into this. And please don’t punch this bozo for having a different opinion, as Greg Eno has suggested. Sorry, Greg.

The repercussions from Miguel Cabrera's apparent latest losing fight with alcohol extend beyond another serious personal challenge for the embattled slugging first baseman. But the response over the ensuing days and weeks as this story evolves will test the lengths of public indignation. It's always much easier demanding a head on a platter when it's some other city's superstar.

Why must these heads be demanded in the first place? Leave your office once in a while. Take a look around. People are not perfect. People screw up all the time and many times, they repeat their same mistakes.

Why is it in sports that we must demand such harsh repercussions all the time? Why is the athlete supposed to be a perfect, upstanding citizen 100% of the time while the shoe salesman, the toll booth operator, or the almighty sportswriter are not? Is hitting a baseball far, being able to catch a football, or having the ability to dunk a basketball really reason enough to expect more out of a human being?

Or is this the only way you unathletic, jealous, pompous pricks can finally feel better than the athletes you cover?

But when the troubled athlete is yours, everyone is suddenly more sympathetic and forgiving.

Drew, imagine you hear that the kid down the block is bullying other students at school. Maybe yours. You’d probably be pissed and not care why the kid is doing so. You might want him suspended from school. You’d probably draw conclusions based on the lawn never being mowed, the broken down VW that’s always in the driveway, and that the dad had moved out a year ago.

But what if that kid was yours? Oh noes…suddenly we shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions.

Step outside that glass house you’re throwing rocks from once in a while. Experience life. It’s complicated.

You want "tough love"?

I just want people to think and be reasonable.

Try being tough.

Oh no. Don’t hit me! Everyone wants to hit me…

I’ll f-ck you all up.

The Tigers should suspend Cabrera indefinitely after his Wednesday night arrest on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol.

Suspicion=guilt. Was he driving drunk? Probably. But let me get back to my previous point.

Say you’re working the deep fryer at Wendy’s. Say you’re a factory worker. Say you’re in any profession other than "truck driver", "limo driver", or "ice cream truck driver".

Why should you be suspended from your job because you got a DUI? What makes a baseball player different from the thousands of other professions in the world?

Nothing. Get f-cked with a rusty railroad spike and leave the man alone.

They should demand that he check himself into an inpatient rehabilitation facility for an indeterminate amount of time.

No. They should have the man evaluated by real doctors with real credentials. And from what I’ve read, that’s exactly what they’re doing. These EXPERTS can decide the proper procedure from there. If Miguel really has a problem, then obviously he needs to confront it head on. If that means rehab, so be it.

But he should do it for the good of his family and his health. Not because of pricks like you and your uninformed opinions, Drew.

Should Cabrera refuse, the Tigers should seek voiding the remaining five years -- and $107 million -- of his contract.

I never thought I’d say this, but thank Jeebus for unions. You’re an amazing assclown.

It never will happen. The Major League Baseball Players Association would file a grievance since MLB doesn't have a specific personal conduct policy in its collective bargaining agreement similar to the NFL.

Also, because it’s stupid.

But if all parties involved are truly interested in saving an individual rather than a season or a contract, then Cabrera's arrest must symbolize his life and career hitting rock bottom.

Objection, your honor! Mr. Sharp is obviously leading the jury, making wild speculations, and being a drama queen! I ask the court to please hold him in contempt, disbar him immediately, and possibly hurl him into a pit of cobras…if it pleases the court.

Cabrera is fortunate he isn't an NFL player. If so, he'd likely face a four-game suspension (25% of the season) as a repeat offender.

Yes. The NFL. Where you can get fined for tackling to hard. The NFL’s system for fines and suspensions is beyond ridiculous. But that’s a topic for another site.

Baseball has focused so much on policing illegal drug and steroid use in recent years

Because YOU THE MEDIA wouldn’t STFU about it!

/tries to pull hair out

//has no hair

///begins sobbing


that it downplayed establishing a penal code for those with a pattern of requiring police intervention. Owners should insist on tougher personal conduct language in the next CBA.

That might not be a bad thing, I admit. But how do you decide proper punishments? Again, why are our pro athletes so much different than in other professions?

I do see the point in being able to void contracts based on constant repeated illegal behavior. But you’re just setting yourself up for legal battles on that issue, too. I mean, is a domestic dispute where alcohol is present the same thing as a DUI? See below…

Cabrera was one of those illusionary "feel-good" stories from a year ago, rebuilding the trust lost from that notorious bender on the last weekend of the 2009 season that landed him in the Birmingham police station.

Yes, the 2009 incident. Obviously, you can’t ignore it when the man is charged with a DUI a little over a year later. But while we’re all drawing conclusions with no proof, let me bring up another one. Did what I’m about to suggest happen? I don’t know. But if everyone else is allowed to make conclusions without all the facts, then I’m at least going to raise a scenario for you to ponder.

Just two days ago, an employee of mine was late for work. Two weeks prior, his estranged girlfriend crashed her car into his in a fit of anger. She’s nuts. He’s still trying to make it work due to their child. Currently, they’re sharing one car. Two days ago, he was driving to work with her in the passenger seat. An argument started between the two about the prior fight. She began striking him in the face while he was driving, even drawing blood. He kept yelling at her to stop and finally pushed her off of him. The guy was driving a car, for crying out loud. She ended up calling the police saying he had assaulted her.

In 2009, Miguel Cabrera stayed out too late drinking. A hotel attendant drove him home. Is it that hard to believe that Cabrera’s young wife flipped out when he got home so late, began hitting him, and called the cops? Domestic abuse is no joke, no matter who the abuser is. But the man is always assumed to be the bad guy in the situation.

Bitches be crazy, yo.

Miguel Cabrera showed up to work with scratches all over his face. I could be wrong, but I don’t remember hearing any reports about Mrs. Cabrera having broken bones and any black eyes. Mig is a lot bigger than she is. He was also bombed that night, judging by his BAC. He could have killed her if he was a violent drunk.

But he didn’t.

What if in 2009, all Mig was guilty of was staying out too late on a game night? What if she was to blame for the altercation?

Point is, we don’t know. Just like we don’t know right now what the man’s situation is. So quit pointing a finger at him and shove it back up your ass where it belongs.

But Cabrera's setback proves there are no "happy endings" in these stories because there's never an end in recovery.

Really? Never? I’ve met plenty of recovering alcoholics that have had happy endings so far.

And hell, Josh Hamilton seemed pretty happy when he won the 2010 AL MVP.

It requires daily vigilance.

When Cabrera arrives in Lakeland, he'll show the proper contrition. He'll apologize to his teammates, the organization and the fans. But that doesn't mean everyone should let him off the hook.

Yes. You must have your pound of flesh, Drew. You judgmental pile of sh-t.

It's always easier when the player involved isn't someone in which you're emotionally invested. It's why Philadelphia looked the other way with Michael Vick's criminal history and Pittsburgh tolerated Ben Roethlisberger's prior pattern of indiscretion provided he got the Steelers to another Super Bowl. As long as they win, the character lapses don't matter as much.

Murdered dozens of dogs.

Accused of sexual assault.

Too much to drink?

Po-tay-to, po-tah-to?

No.

It'll sadly be the same with Cabrera in Detroit.

How dare the people of Detroit actually forgive a man for his faults and hope he can improve his life. HOW DARE THEY?

If he can hit close to 40 home runs and bat .330 this season, the masses will make excuses for his behavior.

No. They’ll celebrate a man getting his life back together after his poor choice and the media destroyed his life.

Fans will rationalize the virtuousness of the third chance and even the fourth chance, if necessary. As long as Cabrera keeps clubbing pitches out of Comerica Park and keeps the Tigers competitive, they'll argue that he should be afforded endless opportunities to work through his personal issues.

But you have to wonder what compels the pompous athlete to shout at police: "Do you know who I am?"

He was drunk. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he yelled that he was the President of Venezuela.

Two final thoughts to ponder. Have any of you ever heard Miguel speak in his broken English? Combine that with a drunken slur. How was this officer accurately able to understand ANYTHING the man was saying?

Here's the other.  Say a year ago, you personally, whether you're Drew Sharp, Scott Rogowski, Joe or Jane Reader...say you go out and have too much to drink.  You come home and somehow a fight happens with your wife/husband/neighbor/paper boy.  Say in the following months, you occasionally enjoy yourself with some drinks with no problems happening.  A year later, you make a poor choice and get a DUI.

Do you automatically need to be put into an alcohol treatment program?  How would you feel if strangers were pointing their fingers at you and labeling you as an alcoholic?

It would suck.  And it might be true.  It might not.  But think about that.

It's what your next move would be that decides your fate.  Learn from your mistakes.  And don't let them happen again.  The same is true for Miguel Cabrera.

Okay, NOW I’m done. Up next, Your Party Host will get into spring training and the upcoming season. I’m officially DONE with Cabrera-gate…

…unless Samuelsen opens his mouth. Ha.

5 comments:

Mac said...

Awsome cut up of Sharp and U are correct he always has been an assclown ... Do we know whether the mug shot was taken when he was first brought into the station to be admitted, booked and fingerprinted? ... That is when they are always taken, as far as I know ... The police and prosecutors want that lovely boozed look on film as evidence ... If so, he sure didn't look blotto to me ... How much Jack was left in the bottle? And if he had not had a drink in a year and a half believe me he would have been sluring after 3 or 4 good slugs ... One other thing ... He had worked is ass off all off season to get into probably the best shape in years and was feeling petty good about himself ... was going to Spring training knowing that the team had a good shot of winning the central ... was on Vaca from the wife,kids, and hanger-ons ... probably said to himself "I think I will relax on the ride up to Lakeland , have a bottle and not touch another drop until we are done , just like last year ...to bad the circumstances with the radiator and cell phone cramped his little gift to himself ... Don't get me wrong, U can not drink and drive anymore .... and he should of had a driver ... One last thing ... Management obviously told Leyland to calm his quotations abit, but I agree with everything he said ...Great site...

Anonymous said...

Start making fun of Tiger baseball again. This is much more depressing. Not only The Big Migs DUI, but the fact we live in a world with so many idiots that you are highlighting.

Anonymous said...

I have too many friends who have gotten DUIs to feel like calling for anyone's head. I'm glad he didn't hit anyone, and I'm glad he didn't take a swing at the cop. Sounds like he was awfully loaded, could've easily gone down like that. But I'm with the other anonymous. This is depressing. Please ignore the next pompous ass that writes a column to condemn drunken Miggy and start making fun of Don Kelly again. We'd all appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

Mitch albom and drew sharp are butt buddies, they are know it alls who have the answers to everything.

Anonymous said...

Mitch albom and drew sharp are butt buddies, they are know it alls who have the answers to everything.