Sunday, May 22, 2011

Magglio: How Quickly They Forget

“Rogo…why are you so angry all the time?”

I get that question a lot. And it’s an easy answer. Because I hate everyone.

Saturday at work, I made the mistake of being spotted by one of the regulars at the bar. He calls out to me and busts my balls over the Boston/Detroit series because he’s a loudmouth, lowlife, cousin-banging Red Sox fan. We joke back and forth, trade insults, I insinuate that his mother is a prostitute (or something classy like that), and I get ready to go back to my most common activity at work: sitting in the office with my head in my hands wondering where I went wrong with life.

And just then, the guy next to him, who I have never seen before, decides to speak up. And I had to fight the urge to stab him in the neck with a steak knife.


Our conversation went like this.

GUY: You’re a Tigers fan? Heh heh, me too. They fucking suck.”

ME: Yeah, they’re so streaky. Lose a bunch, win a bunch, lose a bunch. Who knows what’s going to happen.

GUY: I tell you what, that Magglio Ordonez is a piece of shit. Fuck him. He sucks and they never should have signed him again.

ME: Come on, dude. The guy’s hurt. Been on the DL over a week now. You can’t blame him for everything. And a broken ankle’s not an easy thing to recover from, especially at his age.

GUY: Fuck that. Did you see that one postgame this year on Fox Detroit? Jim Leyland basically called Magglio a pussy. Said he’s faking it. Said he doesn’t want him on the team anymore. Yeah, Magglio’s a pussy and hasn’t been good in years. Fuck, we shoulda traded him last year, but no one wanted him cuz of his ankle. Fuck him. I’m glad Jim’s not gonna play him anymore, even if he gets healthy. He said that, you know.

ME: (deep breath) Okay, man. I must have missed all that.

GUY: Yeah, fuck him. We shoulda got rid of him a long time ago and kept Granderson. They’re so fucking stupid.

ME: Inge isn’t hitting either. (I had a feeling.)

GUY: Don’t fuck with Inge, man. He’s the best third baseman in baseball. And he isn’t hitting that bad.

As the guy in charge of our little franchise of restaurant/bars, it’s my job to keep a cool head and be an example for everyone. So, I did just that.

ME: No offense, man, but you are a fucking idiot.

I’m pretty sure that he took offense. I didn’t stick around at the bar long enough to find out.

The point is, it’s sad that conversations like this have to occur. It amazes me how ignorant most baseball fans are. This is why I never blamed Barry Bonds for being such a prick. Why kiss up to people that will turn on you the second you start to struggle? Fans are awful. Go to the mLive comments section if you don’t believe me.

And sure, Magglio’s my favorite Tiger. He’s in my top five all-time. I’ve told you all that before. But he’s more than that. And that’s why I was more irritated today than usual, I guess.

Along with Pudge Rodriguez, Magglio ignited the revival of Tiger baseball in Detroit. The magic of 2006 would never have happened without him. His .363/28/139 year in 2007 may be the finest offensive season I’ve witnessed by ANY Tiger. And yes, this, his 7th year in the D, has been rough. In 26 games, Ordonez hit .172 with 1 homer and 5 RBI. Coming off a broken ankle, Maggs hasn’t been himself all year and has wound up on the DL.

But should 26 games really enough to make people turn on a guy like that after all he’s done? A man that in six previous years, the lowest he ever batted was .298 (2006)? If this pud-stain at the bar was alone, I wouldn’t be writing this. But all over the place, I see people shitting on Magglio, whether it be in a bar, on a website, or at the ballpark, just like a couple years ago when he had a slow start. He’s old, he’s hurt again, he’s overpaid, he’s lost it…blah, blah, blah. It sickens me to see this happen again.

Again? Yeah, again.
They did this to Bobby Higginson when he was near the end. And now Bobby’s remembered as a punchline after all the years he gave to Detroit with no support around him. Pricks. When people talk about how knowledgeable and great the Tiger fans are, I’m sorry, but I just always assume they must be talking about LSU or Auburn fans. Because for every smart Tiger fan that I meet, there’s a dozen empty-headed dipshits right behind him telling me that a guy like Magglio Ordonez sucks and Brandon Inge is a god.

So yeah…I hate people.

10 comments:

h2opolopunk said...

 I still love Maggs. I just miss (a) the locks and (b) his bat.

Jkdornberg said...

 Well said!  Isn't it amazing how you can tell the dumbasses that love Brandon Inge! They have like an idiot stamp on their forehead.

Jennifer Cosey said...

I love that his bat did the talking to shut everybody up in 2009.  I'm banking that he'll do it again this year.  Then I will tell all the idiots to skewer themselves with a rusty poker.

Pawsdeep said...

When he bats .400 in august all of the pudfucks who bashed him will be loving the guy an exonerating his as 'the reason we are contending'

Homer fans suck the hardest...

Russ said...

 You know, as I was reading this the first thing that came to mind was the 'tarded mlive commenter's.  If we lose, they bitch.  If we win, they bitch.

The thing that pisses me off more than anything is when they call him "Dumbrowski", because they think their cute by making a little fucking pun.  Then again it could just be Randy Smith with 40 different log in names...

Julian said...

Hey, don't bash on Inge.  He can't help it that the bigger, older boys throw the ball too hard for him and the bats are too heavy for the little guy to swing and that mean nasty old umpire has to call strikes when he can't keep up with those fast pitches.

JacksTigers said...

The thing that pisses me off more than anything is when people comment about something completly different than the article and get pissy pissy over it 

weis14 said...

The thing that guys like this miss is that Magglio, when healthy, can hit and probably will again.  Inge, on the other hand, has shown no offensive talent in the last decade.

Jdornberg said...

and INGE on the back of their jersey. They also want to know when his statue will be erected in left field next to willie horton's.

motorcitykitty said...

Magglio isnt done... he is simply resting up to crush crazy nuts balls all over the park after the all star break...  someone finally informed him of the Tigers historic "second half colapse" and he is taking appropriate steps to prevent this... that and he is and always will be my Tiger... he and Tram - ah, beautiful...