Friday, December 16, 2011

The Twelve Days of Christmas: Tigers Version

Well, it’s been a slow week in Tiger news. And with holiday parties and assorted nonsense at work, I’ve been busier than Rick Porcello in an unsupervised sorority house this week. But in the holiday spirit, I composed a Christmas Carol listing the recent Tigers activities for you. It took about 15 minutes.

And it shows. Sorry…



Sing with me, kids. To the tune of “The 12 Days of Christmas”.

On the first day of Christmas, Dombrowski gave to me:
Better teams than 2003.

On the second day of Christmas, Dombrowski gave to me:
Octovio,
And better teams than 2003.

On the third day of Christmas, Dombrowski gave to me:
Gerald Laird,
Octovio,
And better teams than 2003.

On the fourth day of Christmas, Dombrowski gave to me:
Ryan Perry trade,
Gerald Laird,
Octavio,
And better teams than 2003.

On the fifth day of Christmas, Dombrowski gave to me:
NO MORE WILL RHYMES!
Ryan Perry trade,
Gerald Laird,
Octavio,
And better teams than 2003.

On the sixth day of Christmas, Dombrowski gave to me:
Cespedes Fever,
NO MORE WILL RHYMES!
Ryan Perry trade,
Gerald Laird,
Octavio,
And better teams than 2003.

On the seventh day of Christmas, Dombrowski gave to me:
Santiago again,
Cespedes Fever,
NO MORE WILL RHYMES!
Ryan Perry trade,
Gerald Laird,
Octavio,
And better teams then 2003.

On the eighth day of Christmas, Dombrowski gave to me:
Inge-Kelly platoon,
Santiago again,
Cespedes Fever,
NO MORE WILL RHYMES!
Ryan Perry trade,
Gerald Laird,
Octavio,
And better teams than 2003.

On the ninth day of Christmas, Dombrowski gave to me:
No bid on Darvish,
Inge-Kelly platoon,
Santiago again,
Cespedes Fever,
NO MORE WILL RHYMES!
Ryan Perry trade,
Gerald Laird,
Octavio,
And better teams than 2003.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Dombrowski gave to me:
Joe Saunders rumors,
No bid on Darvish,
Inge-Kelly platoon,
Santiago again,
Cespedes Fever,
NO MORE WILL RHYMES!
Ryan Perry trade,
Gerald Laird,
Octavio,
And better teams than 2003.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Dombrowski gave to me:
Pipe dreams of landing Headley,
Joe Saunders rumors,
No bid on Darvish,
Inge-Kelly platoon,
Santiago again,
Cespedes Fever,
NO MORE WILL RHYMES!
Ryan Perry trade,
Gerald Laird,
Octavio,
And better teams than 2003.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Dombrowski gave to me:
Twelve new striped polos,
Pipe dreams of landing Headley,
Joe Saunders rumors,
No bid on Darvish,
Inge-Kelly platoon,
Santiago again,
Cespedes Fever,
NO MORE WILL RHYMES!
Ryan Perry trade,
Gerald Laird,
Octavio,
And better teams than 2003.

...yeah. They can't all be winners.

3 comments:

philcokesbrain said...

Your sense of meter and rhythm need to be kicked in the balls.
Still enjoyed it.

Jay Hathaway said...

That fills me with warm holiday cheery feelings.  Could also be the NyQuil working.

Dan B said...

My head is spinning and I don't know where I am.