The Tigers suck right now. Thank Cobb that Verlander pitches
tonight.
How’s that for an introduction? Up next is interleague play
and the Pittsburgh Pirates. I’m not much of an expert on NL teams, but I’ll
give this a shot.
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
Andrew McCutchen
I hope you’re not expecting any bad jokes making fun of Mr.
McCutchen. You won’t be getting any as the guy’s probably my favorite player in
baseball that doesn’t play for Detroit. The kid is awesome.
-2011 All-Star
-2009 Baseball America Rookie of the Year
-Drafted 11th overall by Pittsburgh in the 2005
MLB Draft. The Tigers selected 10th in 2005 and instead took Cameron
Maybin. Normally, this is where I complain about Detroit being horrendous in
the Draft, but Maybin led to the team acquiring Miguel Cabrera. So I’ll just be
quiet this time.
-Off to a huge start this year hitting .349/.407/.535 with 5
HR, 16 RBI, and an OPS+ of 161
-I'll weep when he eventually joins the Yankees or Red Sox
TEAM STRENGTH
No idea. The National League is stupid. Track down Uncle Ian
and ask him.
/hard hitting analysis
OLD FRIENDS
Just one guy. Move on to the next section…
WORST ENEMY
Jason Grilli
Yes. The dreaded “Cheese Man” is a Pittsburgh Pirate. If you
can find a more hated ex-Tiger (with the possible exception of Juan Gonzalez),
I’d like to hear his name. Grilli gave up 13 homers in parts of four seasons
out of the pen for Detroit, though it seemed like double that. I have yet to
meet a Tiger fan that misses him, especially after his ugly exit that saw him
trading verbal barbs with Jim Leyland.
Jason has seen a bit of a career rebirth out of Pittsburgh’s
pen this year and last. He has a combined ERA of 2.45 with them and has only
allowed 4 homers in 47.2 innings.
I hope he gets into a game and Cabrera hits one 500 feet off
of him.
FANBASE
-Michael Keaton
-Guy that played Squiggy on Laverne and Shirley
-As for the rest of them, if they’re anything like every
Steelers fan I’ve ever met, they should be doused in kerosene immediately lit
on fire.
OVERALL
Playtime is over and the Pirates are not a very good baseball team. It’s time to start winning some games
before the pitchfork and torch store being built across the street from
Comerica finally opens for business.
6 comments:
LOL! I have that card! (plus, Barry Bonds' and Bobby Bonilla's rookie cards were in the second edition of that year, which I also have). I love baseball cards.
You forgot that Don Kelly's family lives in Pittsburgh and that his brother-in-law Neil Walker plays for the Pirates. Another reason to hate them.
Favorite Grilli molotov cocktail moment? Gotta be the 12 balls in a row in the ALCS...a dozen veins blowing one at a time...
Yep, me too. I had that one sitting on my window sill for a while because it's so damn awesome.
McCutchen is awesome.
Agreed... I'd love to see him in the old english D. But I wouldn't give up Miggy to have him... so I guess it worked out for us.
Now, they could have Ajax, Turner, and any other prospect or two they want for him... I'd kill to have him hitting in front of Miggy/Prince
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